Quotes were last updated on: January 7, 2004
Okay, so sometimes I don't get around to culling a full flick worth of pithy quotes. But there is still that random juicy rejoinder that deserves to be documented. So here they are! However, most of these are from memory, not a clipboard and pause button, so I cannot guarantee absolute accuracy.
By the by, feel free to toss off a few of your faves as well, just e-mail them to me and if they are pithy enough, I'll add them to the mix.
"I've decided to launch an attack that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes...I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. Take this down: I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!"
- Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Korman) in "Blazing Saddles"
"So, what do you think. Does Lecter want to fuck her, or kill her, or eat her, or what?" - Mason Verger (Gary Oldman) in "Hannibal"
"Toss me."....."Don't tell the Elf" - Gimli (John Rhys-Davies) in "The Two Towers"
"I could use a drink. I wonder what kind of hooch these people brew?" - O'Malley (Tom Selleck) in "High Road to China"
"They don't. They're Bhuddists, and drinking alcohol is strictly against their religion" - Struts (Jack Weston)
"No kidding? They can't ALL be that religious?" - O'Malley
"The oxen are slow, but the earth is patient" - holy man in "High Road to China"
"Speak!" - Suleman Khan (Brian Blessed) in "High Road to China"
"The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now a Manhattan you always shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time."
- Nick Charles (William Powell) in "The Thin Man", discussing how to shake a cocktail
"Would you like a drink?" - Nora Charles (Myrna Loy) in "The Thin Man"
"What do you think?" - Nick Charles (William Powell)
"I don't want to fall in love. I don't want to go through that again" - Wanda (Faye Dunaway)
"Don't worry. Nobody's ever loved me yet" - Henry (Mickey Rourke) in "Barfly"
"Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk."
- Henry (Mickey Rourke) in "Barfly"
"It doesn't matter how many people I've killed. What matters is how I got along with them when they were alive."
- Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis) in "The Whole Nine Yards"
"When a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, the man with the pistol is a dead man. That's an old Mexican proverb. And it's true."
- Ramón Rojo (Gian Maria Volonté) in "Fistful of Dollars"
"You're that sweaty carpenter who hates me!"
- Goldie Hawn in "Overboard"
"Let's drink to this partnership!"
- Colonel Douglas Mortimer (Lee van Cleef) in "For a Few Dollars More"
"I can't die! I have two ex-wives, a mother, and several bartenders dependent on me!"
- Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) in "North by Northwest"
"That's it. Out you two pixies go. Out the door or through the window."
- Nick (Sheldon Leonard) tossing out George Baily and Clarence in "It's a Wonderful Life"
"I thought you were dead, Mr. McCandles!." - Bounty Hunter
"Not Hardly." - Big Jake McCandles (John Wayne) in "Big Jake"
"When you have to shoot, shoot; don't talk."
- Tuco (i.e., "the ugly") (Eli Wallach) in "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly"
"Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!"
- Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) in "Pulp Fiction"
"He say you brade runna."
- Sushi Master (Robert Okazaki) in "Blade Runner"
- (somehow I missed this one in my "20 Quotes" treatment!)
"First you get the money. Then you get the power. Then you get the women."
- Tony Montoya (Al Pacino) in "Scarface"
"You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany."
- Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guiness) in "Star Wars"
"It tells me that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try reading books instead of burning them."
- Professor Henry Jones (Sean Connery) in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade"
"You can't get lard less'n you boil a hog."
- Davey Crockett (John Wayne) in "The Alamo"
"Listen to me Princess. We fucked twice. That's it. Once the sweat dries, you still don't know shit about me, got it?"
- Jack Baker (Jeff Bridges) to Suzie Diamond (Michelle Pfeiffer) in "The Fabulous Baker Boys"
"Something about your face makes me want to slap the shit out of it."
- Roy Scheider to John Glover in "52 Pick-Up"
"You're not the man I knew ten years ago." - Marion (Karen Allen) in "Raiders of the Lost Ark"
"It's not the years; it's the mileage." - Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford)
- Angel Eyes (Lee van Cleef) to leg-free "Shorty" in "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly"
"Vargas does not drink. Does not smoke. Does not make love. What do you do, Vargas? Every man has his passions. Mine is fishing. What is yours, Mr. Bond?"
- Largo (Ado Celli) in "Thunderball"
"Orbis Non Sufficit" ("the world is not enough")
- family motto on the Bond family coat of arms in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service"
"You are not unique. You are not a snowflake."
"We are the All Singing, All Dancing Crap of the World."
"This is your life..and it's ending one minute at a time."
- Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) in "Fight Club"
"Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together over five years. Hopefully....you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your Dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Major Coolidge would be talkin' right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is I'm talkin' to you, Butch. I got somethin' for you. This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first World War. It was bought in a little general store in Knoxville, Tennessee. Made by the first company to ever make wrist watches. Up till then people just carried pocket watches. It was bought by private Doughboy Erine Coolidge on the day he set sail for Paris. It was your great-grandfather's war watch and he wore it everyday he was in that war. When he had done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the watch off, put it an old coffee can, and in that can it stayed 'til your granddad Dane Coolidge was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight the Germans once again. This time they called it World War II. Your great-grandfather gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's. Dane was a Marine and he was killed -- along with the other Marines at the battle of Wake Island. Your granddad was facing death, he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leavin' that island alive. So three days before the Japanese took the island, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport name of Winocki, a man he had never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he'd never seen in the flesh, his gold watch. Three days later, your granddad was dead. But Winocki kept his word. After the war was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father, his Dad's gold watch. This watch. (holds it up, long pause) This watch was on your Daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew if the gooks ever saw the watch it'd be confiscated, taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, that watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slopes were gonna put their greasy yella hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you."
- Captain Koons (Christopher Walken) in "Pulp Fiction"